I’m currently in the process of planning my wedding.
I never wanted a wedding. I’m not the girl who whiled away her time dreaming of her ‘big day’. In fact until very recently I hadn’t invested a moments thought on it…. It just didn’t interest me, there were always more important things to waste my time on. Marriage to me was unnatural, archaic and in modern society, predestined for failure.
So why get married?
Now this is a question I have pondered on quite a lot….
A few things occurred in my life recently that made me second guess my aversion to marriage. Firstly, my Dad passed away at just 60 after a long struggle with Crohn’s disease and subsequent bowel cancer and early onset dementia. I watched him slowly fade while my mother cared for and supported him. I witnessed their lifelong commitment in it’s most raw and honest form and I awakened to appreciate what it all meant.
Secondly, last year my partner and I had a son and while I was pregnant I found it difficult thinking about the two of them sharing a surname and not me. I thought I would feel like an outsider looking in and I wanted to be part of their family. (I now put these thoughts down to pregnancy hormones and understand that family isn’t just defined by your surname…. I have since decided not to change my surname).
Thirdly, our grannies are getting old and seeing us married would make them so happy. We love our grannies and want to make them happy!
And finally, we get to have all of our favourite people in one place for an awesome party!
What is a wedding anyway?
For a few years in my 20s I managed an event venue that was primarily booked for weddings. Every weekend during the Summer, we’d set up the room in the wedding colours of the moment, lavender and gold. We’d introduce the bridal party and in would bop the bridesmaids in their a-symmetrical chiffon dresses to some Black Eyed Peas song, and then came the groom and the bride in her off-white/ivory/cream gown and everyone would laugh and cheer…. “Yaaaay!”…. now hurry up with the speeches we have another off-white/ivory/cream + lavender and gold spectacular to set up for tomorrow.
All weddings are the same… no matter how original you think you are, a million people before you have done the same thing….
The average Australian wedding costs $36,200 (according to the Australian securities and investments commission). You say wedding, I say deposit on a house!
HOLD UP….! so to put it in coffee connoisseur’s terms, you’re saying we’re paying for Kopi Luwak (cat poop coffee….http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak) and what we’re getting is Nescafe in a fancy glass?.
Yes, that’s what i’m saying, we’re all getting ripped off. Love is a commercial enterprise.
Don’t worry though because that is not a wedding.
A wedding, by it’s simplest definition, is a celebration of a marriage. However you chose to celebrate your marriage is completely up to you. That’s right, there’s no need to wear an off-white/ivory/cream gown, you don’t have to drown in flowers, spending money on a cake that no-one eats is not necessary… you don’t have to do any of it. You can do or not do, whatever you like!
If you are anything like me, and the fact that you’ve read this far tells me that you probably are, you won’t be keen on the bouffant princess dress, Rolls Royce or cheesy wedding pics anyway. As I plan my own rebel wedding, I’ll be sharing my ideas and thoughts with you as inspiration for your own decommercialised celebration of marriage in what will be a sometimes serious, sometimes tongue-in-cheek manner.
I hope you enjoy the wedding rebellion!